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How do you feel when your boss lectures you about something that you did or suggested and ends his talk with, "I own this company, I've been in this business longer than you, and I sign your paycheck. I don't care how good of an idea you think you have just do what I say and keep your ideas to yourself!"? I'm sure you don't feel too good, you are not motivated from such talk and it doesn't build in you a sense of loyalty to the company.

If this is true for you, an adult who is supposed to have some control over your emotions, just imagine how ineffective such lectures are to transmit your values and to convince children of your views.

How then, you might ask, can you fulfill your parental obligation to pass on your values, life's lessons that you learnt the hard way, and prepare them for life without lecturing them? The answer is to tell stories and personal anecdotes that show the values that you feel are important for your children to learn. Story telling is the most pleasant, gentle, and effective way to get your message across.

Here a few tips on how I do this with my children:

*I wait for a time when a few of the older children are just sitting around listening to music,doing homework, or noshing (especially chocolate).

*I lean on a wall in the living room (to be as informal as possible) and say, "Do you want to hear what happened to me today?" (I don't wait for an answer) or "I heard the most unbelievable story today..."

* I never start by saying, "I heard this story about honesty today." I'm afraid if I would start like that they would shut off their ears thinking, "Oh no. Here comes another "goodie-goodie" lecture." I just give a general introduction and jump right into the story.

* Obviously, I also don't end off with a statement like, "and therefore I expect you ....". I just say, "I was so impressed with his courage or his honesty. I don't know how he did it but I wish I would be so strong"

Try it and you'll know that you are successful when, at a later time (sometimes even years later), your children live with those values and even quote you the stories that you told them.

Shevach Pepper is the happy father of 12 children. Go to http://www.greatfamilyman.com/sp24.html to get a free copy of his helpful ebook Hello, I'm _____. An inventory to make, preserve, and enhance relationships."Polly Pocket Races
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Ouch! The cat just bit me! And all I was doing was petting her. Aggression is not an uncommon emotion in cats, and can be displayed both adults and kittens. This is why all pet owners should know how to handle their cat's aggression. Alpha cats are (the top cats in the pack displaying leadership qualities) should be given special consideration.

These cats use aggression to obtain certain benefits for themselves in preference to other cats. They can turn aggressive over toys, baths, food, space, and the attention another cat might be getting from the owner.

Cats may use aggression as a way to stop something they deem unpleasant. For instance, an alpha cat may jump onto your lap when it wishes to be petted and then bite and scratch when it wants you to stop. This phenomenon is termed petting-induced aggression. It is common in cats that have a low threshold for physical affection. This is also a way that aggressive cats show who is in control.

Surprisingly, kittens can also show a high degree of aggression. Aggression in kittens is a normal biological response termed play-aggression. It is an built-in drive to play rough. Play-aggression usually occurs when your kitten starts growing up and needs to practice its survival instincts. It is, fortunately, a phase that most kittens outgrow.

It is important that you deal with aggression in a firm manner. If, when you are petting it on your lap, an alpha cat bites you, you should make show your disapproval by not allowing it on your lap for a few days. When you do allow it to sit on your lap again, ensure that you are in charge of petting activity. You must initiate and conclude the petting session. After a few days, the cat will learn to accept your role as its owner and may learn to be more patient.

In the case of an aggressive kitten, it is you who needs to be patient. Learn to read your cat's body language so that you do not give it a chance to attack you. You could also get another kitten as a playmate. This gives your cat an outlet for its play.

Learning more about your cat and taking control of its aggression don't just benefit you, the owner. They also allow the cat to live a happier less stressful life.

Barbara Anderson writes for several online magazines, including http://duzat.com and http://tameg.com.Polly Pocket Race
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